From a twitter follower:
First off, hugs to you, as I know this was a difficult night for you. Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. Some days your tweets just really move me. (Who am I kidding, they all do!) My question is this; How do I figure out what the root of my fear is? Does that even make sense? Sometimes I think that it is everything combined, but I don’t know. I recognize how I hold myself back in so many aspects of my life but that is about as far as I go…. I am planning on attending your Fearless America Tour in Ohio…maybe I can begin to shed somelight. Any thoughts?
You are on the right track. Everyone has one motivating driving fear with loads of little tentacles coming off that one fear. That’s one of the reasons people think they have so many fears, ie. they have varied results or consequences or ways they act out or sabatoge etc that they actually think they are afraid of many things. Not true. It just feels that way.
For instance, my core fear is I’m afraid of anyone thinking I am a ‘loser.’ Now, your definition of loser may be different than mine and the word ‘loser’ may mean nothing to you; doesn’t trigger you at all. Well, loser triggers me when I’m on my Wheel of Fear. That’s the cool thing. I am not triggered by ‘loser’ when I am living on my Wheel of Freedom. It doesn’t bother me at all. It only gets me riled up when I’m feeling insecure, or unworthy of someone or something, etc. etc.
And that’s the trick. We have one fear that drives so many of our ways of being or doing or seeing the world that we think we are broken with no hope of recovery because once we solve one ‘problem’, another seems to crop up. That is an illusion. It is the same fear manifesting itself differently.
So how do you find that one fear that drives all the others, so to speak? Well, there are a few options:
With me: Attend a Fearless Foundation Workshop. I am teaching this three-day kick butt workshop in Philadelphia area in October. Check out www.FearlessLiving.org for specials like two-for-one pricing.
In a group: Attend a Fearless Book Study Group. Each group is devoted to working together to master the principles of my first book, Fearless Living, where the Wheel of Fear and Wheel of Freedom are introduced. Start your own group or join a group. All the information you need is at www.FearlessLiving.org/support_system/join_a_fearbuster_study_group
With a coach: You can work with any Certified Fearless Living Coach. Any coach listed on the FearlessLiving.org website is trained to support you in uncovering your core fear.
Alone or with a friend: Grab my book, Fearless Living, and start answering the questions and working the exercises. You and a friend can work the material together supporting each other in telling the truth to get to the true fear that has been stopping you.
As you can see, there are so many ways you can find your core fear depending how you like to learn. I am knowing fear does not have to run your life. I am an example of that. Now, it doesn’t mean you won’t feel sad or have to make some tough choices. You will. The good news is you won’t stay stuck for long and you will know how to move through it with more love, more kindness and more generosity to yourself and others.
My quest is to help the world become more fearless and that’s why I look forward to meeting you during the Fearless America tour. It will be a blast. And I can’t wait to answer more questions about how to become more fearless.
As always, stay fearless. I look forward to meeting you soon.