I’m taking a deep breath right now as I face and embrace my next birthday.
On December 1st I will be 45 years old. Young to some, over-the-hill to others. To me, I am exactly where I am supposed to be if I am going to learn to live my life with more grace, more ease and more love.
As we all know, that’s easier said than done.
Because if I think about 45 years old long enough…I feel just darn right old. It happens when I start comparing myself to others…when the dreaded “should” word enters my brain I feel behind, below and not enough. “I should be in love by now…” or “I should own a house already…..” or a pleathra of other “shoulds” could easily turn my birthday celebration into a day of mourning. But that isn’t going to happen this year….not if I can help it.
This year I going to decide to see 45 years old as 45 years of acknowledgments, gratitudes and love. 45 years of change, of courage or commitment. 45 years of learning to be a better person no matter how I feel or look.
On my birthday I am going to sit down and list 45 things I am thrilled to be right now. Not have, but be. They are bubbling up now…like:
1. I am proud of myself for the passion I bring to life.
2. I am proud of myself for learning to forgive the unforgiveable.
3. I am proud of myself for loving even when I am afraid.
4. I am proud of myself for finally learning to speak my mind in the face of rejection.
5. I am proud of myself for healing the wounds of my family and bringing us together.
5 down, 40 to go…this year I am not scared to claim my worth because after 45 years of working on myself, I can finally say that I actually, truly like myself.
What a change from just a few years ago. What a gift! Actually, it’s the perfect birthday gift!
Well, then let the celebration begin……Happy Birthday to me!