Confidence is something everyone wants but few are willing to do the work to achieve. Being willing to feel your feelings and face your demons are the two of the risks you must be willing to take in order gain confidence. The good news: anyone can have more confidence. It is a function of consistent effort, compassion and a willingness to tell the truth.
Who would think confidence has anything to do with compassion?
But it does. Most of us are so hard on ourselves we that we won’t make the necessary efforts to achieve long lasting results if it includes feeling stupid, silly or inadequate. Any risk may make you feel any or all of those things. In order to gain confidence, you must be willing to feel every feeling and take actions regardless of those same feelings.
“Rhonda, if I only had more confidence I would have the courage to be true to myself and get my dream job (marry the girl, lose weight, fall in love, let go of guilt, learn to say ‘no,’ find my purpose, etc).”
I can’t tell you how many times people tell me ‘if only I had confidence THEN I could change my life.” But confidence doesn’t come first. Risk does.
In order to gain confidence you must take the risk you do not want to take. Confidence does not happen once in your life and you have it for good. Confidence must be practiced just like any other muscle on your body. Confidence must be nurtured in order for it to grow.
That is the secret to building your confidence. You must take risks to learn how to count on yourself which in turn creates confidence. Simple but scary. Fear tells us that no risk is worth it. The feelings you experience can be extremely uncomfortable. Yet, learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable while feeling your feelings and taking risks is an important ingredient in being true to yourself.
You can’t wait for confidence to happen, first you must go for it and then confidence will happen. Therefore, the only way you will build confidence is to do the thing you fear.
I understand that taking risks and feeling uncomfortable is not the most pleasant experience yet nothing will give you so much personal satisfaction. You will have numerous opportunities to stretch your view of who you are and what you are capable of. You are more valuable than you know. This will help you claim it.
Release your attachment to the outcome.
Invest fully in your intention.
Stand for the truth.
Keep kindness a priority.
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